They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This baby is an asshole
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
