Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
