U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
