yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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