Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
as a side note pls kill me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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