why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
