Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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