he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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