that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
