the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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