Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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