The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
