SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize