Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
