awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
