How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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