someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
