So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
