If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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