she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
