Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
where am i from again
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
