I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
