Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
