They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
