I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
