Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
