Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
