i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize