Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
