I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
