dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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