he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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