U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
