She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
