margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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