I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
