Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
