Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize