worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
