it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize