go do what you do best...puke behind churches
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
