The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
