I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
