Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
