Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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(248): View more from Michigan

The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...

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(904): View more from Florida

the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.

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(631): View more from New York

conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.

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(510): View more from California

In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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(303): View more from Colorado

Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO

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(228): View more from Mississippi

We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver

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(562): View more from California

And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.

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