problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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