Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
