sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
