do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
