i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ketchup is God's man juice
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
