Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
