i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize