I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
