last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize