I love black thongs
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
