There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
