Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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