Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
