it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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