You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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