All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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